I haven't a clue as to how my story will end…but that's all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, that's when you discover the stars..
On a hot summer night, August 20, 1980, I was jogging with 3 friends in Liberty Park in Salt Lake City, Utah; two black men barely legal adults, Ted Fields was 20 and David Martin was 18 and my girlfriend … Continue reading →
This weekend as I was hiking through the magnificent wonders of Capital Reef National Park in southern Utah I felt as though I were walking through an endless art gallery of divine contradictions in beauty…changing always with the seasons and the light of the day. Challenging my senses and inspiring me to see that life finds a way….even in the bitter cold of the darkest night and unforgiving heat of the desert summer.
While the desert is not lush and loud like the jungle, it is a feast of color and quiet contemplation. Thousands of years ago covered in water filled with aquatic life, now dramatically changed to the complete opposite. It must have been just as breath taking to experience in the beginning when it was lush with water and life. I can’t help but wonder if those who saw it then would mourn the transition from shores of beauty to desert canyons.
As with everything in life, we could mourn the loss of the way it was in the beginning or celebrate the evolution of change nourished by mother nature over the years. It’s an example that by adjusting attitude and gratitude, destiny’s view’s are drastically altered.
I felt so blessed to be there in that moment, surrounded by the shocking colors of red rock cliffs and brilliant blue sky. Serenity resides there…..a cathedral of nature….my true church. No religion can own this wonder as theirs alone. It is a feast of blessings that swirl around every person who walks the trails. It speaks to all who appreciate it for what it is now.
It made me connect to the poem below when presented to me this afternoon:
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
Invictus By William Earnest Henley
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
…Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate…..I am the captain of my soul.
After surviving the “dark night of the soul” it helps to know that there is hope and growth from the pain….ultimately allowing me to find that I am more aware of my strengths and weaknesses. I can cling to fear … Continue reading →
In my lifetime there were two people who created an enormous amount of pain, abuse and trauma in my family. They were supposed to love and protect us but it didn’t work out that way. My maternal grandmother, E, was … Continue reading →
The more you are grateful for the blessings in your life, the more you will have to be grateful for…..Zig Ziglar I am so grateful for the love I have in my life. I am truly blessed with every breath … Continue reading →
(click on the black screen to be taken to youtube for the video it is absolutely amazing, it speaks the truth of incest, Sleep by Stabbing Westward) Some days I feel you so deeply, hidden in the dark I look … Continue reading →
As my relationships are transforming into another paradigm I am overwhelmed….stepping into the realm of growth and maturity, accepting the truth of all the love I afford to everyone but myself.
This is a fire I must walk through alone. No one can do it for me if I am to achieve the glory that fuels the fire.
I release the pain of the past, my thoughts of the future, and unforgiving nature that stops me from accepting my Self…….all that comes with where I’ve been in my life….all that leads me to this perfect moment.
I am so blessed. I live every day with gratitude.
This song by Frou Frou says it all
drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
’cause it’s all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you’re writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you’ve no idea what you’re like
so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it’s alright
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it’s so amazing here
it’s alright
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can’t you see that all that stuff’s a sideshow
such boundless pleasure
we’ve no time for later now
you can’t await your own arrival
you’ve 20 seconds to comply
so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it’s alright
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it’s so amazing here
it’s alright
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown